While listening to Enigma

Today was a good day... I didn't take time to sleep in, but that did not manage to interrupt my positive mood. Although the past few days I was disappointed of some of my grades, I was told I had a good margin for a very high grading in a subject I previously let myself down in. So that got my mood up. And I was friendly and social with a friend  who I otherwise usually don't take time interacting with(second day in a row).

Honestly said, I all in all envy her so much. The girl is different from me with her background and values of life and so forth, but it doesn't get in the way of our friendship and my admiring her, if I don't let it (the evil envy) to take over me. And since I had an opportunity to take my time being with her at school and even do some shopping together afterwards, it turned out smoothing out the old holes of non-interaction. I feel grateful and happy. I might want to prioritate this young, still developing friendship of ours.

And I bought... shorts! After trying out almost fifteen pairs. Black ones, blue ones, jeans and non-jeans, longer, very short and medium. I stayed with medium short, dark blue. I am satisfied. But it took a sweat, both today and yesterday... almost was convinced I never will even look at shorts again. But here I am. And the company helped.

As well as shorts, I bought a fortunate pair of summer shoes... also a success, because I took my time and bought much cheaper ones than the pairs I considered buying yesterday. High five, me!

Now I am hungry and supposed to do my Oliver Twist movie analysis. And here I am, writing in my deserted, barely alive...so called blog. I will continue with Oliver.

Numb, frustrated, calm, uninterested

Hi, after a very long break. Now, don't mistake me. I don't care about continuing on the blog anymore or about my issue of giving up on unfinished projects... I share this post mainly to get my thoughts out.

It is my inner child or however you prefer to call it, that isn't satisfied today. To deal with myself is hard. I am a little bit numb, a little bit serious... and a little bit weird. Nothing makes me happy or stimulates my senses. I cannot get a book that would satisfy me, the amazing sunshine that would always make my day doesn't make me smile and neither films or series bring any satisfaction. I cannot paint or draw cause it gets me bored, neither can I sleep because...well I can't fall asleep.

What is the issue? I don't have anything planned for today, it might be it. I get sad and panic-like when I don't have some things I know I will do that day. I guess I can make one - will go outside in ten minutes period. And I will go to sleep soon. And I will... write something, maybe.

Feeling: numb, frustrated, calm, uninterested.